I feel like this is a post that needs to be written, and I definitely have some things to say about it. As developing a liking for K-Pop or Korea in general may not be something your family understands, as it is something that probably was never thought of when our parents were young, due to the political climate, and the western world’s relations with many Asian countries. This is obviously something that we want our parents to be okay with, because if you are like me, it takes over a large portion of your life. You aren’t just listening to the music, but watching all of the TV shows that your favorite people are in, and if you want to take it to the next level like I did, you even teach yourself Korean.
Our families come from a different perspective, a different background, and they see Korea as a very different country than you do. They only see what the news says, and what the history books tell us about the country. They see Korea as a country riddled with conflict, with a dictator overshadowing the country, as an irrational country, plagued by communism, and an area of conflict for the US in the past (and potentially the future). They don’t see the art, music, TV shows, and all of the other cool things that this country has done. They don’t realize how much of the things that country has produced have already invaded our lives, from our TVs and appliances to our cars and cell phones. They are just things to buy for them thatt hey know come from somewhere in Asia. Honestly, they probably can even tell the difference between any of the Asiatic languages and think they are all the same.
So how do you help them to change this mindset, and begin to understand why you like this little tiny peninsula, right next to China and Japan? How do you get them to begin to distinguish between different Asiatic languages, and stop asking you to read Japanese, Chinese and Thai? (This has happened to me on numerous occasions). And how do you get them to stop questioning why you are watching things in a foreign language all of the time?
Here are the main things that will change that:
- Time. I probably dealt with the backlash of my parents thinking “what the hell” for a year to a year and a half before I finally feel like they accept it, although it is my father still more than my mother. My father now will actually sit and watch Korean Dramas and Variety shows with me. He actually enjoys them. He is also trying to learn all of the names of BTS, and he does very well until he gets to all of the J’s: Jin, Jimin, J-Hope, and Jungkook. He also is very much aware that we do not mention SHINee out of fear of reaction from his daughter. My mother is fine with it, but she hasn’t embraced it as much as my father. She does get a good eye roll in now and again when my father messes up the names of BTS members.
- Exposure. I think this is one of the biggest things that helped. Once your family realizes that this isn’t going anywhere, they slowly stop beating around the dead horse. There will be a few conflicts along the way, and you may totally snap at each other, but that will all go away eventually. I believe that all of our blow up are over, especially since when it comes to the TV, my dad backs me up that it is actually pretty good.
- Talking it out. Everyone always has that one parent that they see eye to eye with better than the other. Start with that parent, and through a series of conversations, you may begin to see eye to eye more. The key is, don’t force it on them. Take it step by step. If they start asking questions about a television show you are watching, make sure to answer them and explain to them what is happening. When it came to me watching countless TV programs, I told them that it helps with learning the language, because quite frankly, to fully understand a language you need hours upon hours of practice. They definitely do help. When they ask why I’m eating Korean food again, I always tell them it’s because I like it better, which is actually 100% true.
I know that these are extremely simple things, but honestly, they are truly the things that have helped me the most. The main thing to remember is don’t force it on them. I know you are extremely enthusiastic about it like me, but talking too much about it or trying to get them to like it as much as you do right off the bat will not work. They come from a different generation with a different view of the world than us. It’s just going to anger them and make it take longer for them to come around. I was like that at first, but in those quiet moments, that’s when acceptance began.
If they don’t accept it now, do not fret, it will come in time, K-Nuggets.
사랑합니다!
–Rachel
